That’s A’more!

It’s been fairly gloomy the last couple of days here in San Diego. This is just how I like it. Although I’m feeling like I could have taken advantage of the random heatwave to tan up a bit before the sun went back into hiding. I am SO white. I know, I know.. “there are worse things” you grumble at me, but you’d change your mind if you saw my bum…. Don’t picture it. Just agree so we can move on. 

On a side note: Have any of you fellow blog-writers ever tried to “Tab” your paragraphs? Cause it does NOT work. Stupid formatting. If it’s not tabbed then how do I prove that I can accurately transition from topic to topic? 

Pizza, pizza, pizza! (example of a terrible topic transition.) Today there was a lovely couple, we will call the Anderson’s, who came to our humble abode to make us pizza. I’m talking homemade sauce, hand-tossed dough, market fresh ingredients.. the whole shebang. Seriously, every old italian man who’s entire life has been devoted to the crafting and art of pizza making would be put to shame by the sheer brilliance of this sauce. It was like a little piece of Italy did a hostile take over of my kitchen but made my stomach happy and full so it was all okay in the end. These people know how to make friends is all I’m really saying. In case anyone is hungry, I have tons of pizza in my fridge that I would be willing to part with for a small price. When the day comes that this couple has their own coffee house/ pizza parlor you will all be thanking me for telling you about it’s deliciousness. Now clean up your puddle of drool and go do something useful with your life. 

There Are Just Some Things..

Life always seems to drag and pull us in all types of different directions, yet I find myself in the same spot sometimes. It’s never a bad thing, these déjà vu spots in life. In fact, more often than not they are the things, people, or places I may have once unknowingly abandoned along my journey and gladly discovered again on the path, much like a penny that is head-side up. Excuse the fact that I just compared people I’ve “forgotten” about to the lowest form of our American currency. In a weird way I intended that comment as a compliment, but I guess I could see how someone might not take it that way. Now im feeling weird about this whole thing.
I’ll start over.
Some times our most complex dilemmas can be remedied by an analogy about a cracked iPhone screen. No, never mind. My iPhone was cracked tonight when my daughter pushed it off the edge of our couch. I just thought I could blow off the anger I feel about it in a psychoanalysis of the human mind and it’s attachment to material possessions. I don’t think it will work. Just know that as I type this post I keep scraping my fingers on the tiny pieces of glass that are ever-so-slightly sticking out of the screen now.
You know something? I could get a massage every single day. My whole body. Calves, back, arms… Even butt on some occasions. Day to day life wears on the muscles so much as does the delightful burden of parenthood. My awesome husband always mildly rubs my back at night so I’ll lay quietly while he watches 24. He does this with or without me asking. Whether he’s stayed home all day or he’s come home in the middle of the night from work. I feel terrible about it really. I’m one of those lame girls who have zero arm strength and endurance. Whenever I try to give him a massage it’s either not helpful to him because it’s too light, or a bit deeper in pressure but not long enough to do anything. He’s such a sweet guy. I’d love to randomly have some hulk hands appear that give me awesome high-pressure massaging abilities. He’d be into it.

Ladies Prefer Blondes Too!

I’ve never really been a fan of Marilyn Monroe. “GASP”- heard around the world. Yeah, yeah.. whatever, i’ve never really cared much for her because I’ve never really watched her movies and I’m not like all those other weirdos who have posters of her and think she’s amazing despite the fact that they have no idea what she’s all about. BUT, I decided to watch that new movie My Week With Marilyn and even though I hated it, I just started to like her. Even though that wasn’t HER but you get what I mean. I am currently watching Seven Year Itch as I write this. I hate this movie too. But I do like her. Dammit…

25 Days Of Christmovies Is A Lie!

Well I hope that Christmas turned out to be everything you all hoped it would be. I hope that you were surrounded by your loved ones and you decided to be grateful for what you have and who you have. I love Christmas time. I love the lights, the feeling in the air… Grated it’s a bit different now that I live in San Diego to get that whole “white Christmas” feeling, but none the less it is a season I have always fallen deeply in love with. One of my favorite things about the Christmas season is ABCFAMILY’s 25 Day Of Christmas movie marathon. I always look at the line up early and anticipate my favorite holiday flicks. After years of being a fan I have to say that this year was a HUGE disappointment. I swear, it’s like they only had the same 5 movies playing the entire month! There are SOOOO many holiday movies that they could have played and didn’t. Every time I turned on Channel 311, all they played was National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (which I hate), all THREE of those terrible Santa Clause movies that very quickly became worse with each new one, and the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, which is a great movie but you don’t need to watch it more than once. It is just odd that they didn’t even seem to TRY and make the line up good. I feel deprived of the great holiday classics that we all love to watch once december rolls around. Maybe I will make my own 25 Days Of Christmas. You can all come to my house next december and we will have some serious Christmas Flick action. Just Saying. Merry Christmas!
– Sarah, HG.

This Is The Part Where You All Clap Your Hands And Sing!

Okay lets just get to it!
The BOG’S very own redheaded Evil Genius is ENGAGED!!!! That’s right folks! You’ve heard it here first! (or perhaps on her twitter feed..) On behalf of the internet community, which is greatly presumptuous of me, I would like to send all of our congrats and well wishes her way! That Bear-man is incredibly lucky and I’m sure he knows it. Smart guy, he liked it and he put a ring on it. (I just made that up, catchy huh?)
In other news there is a new Playlist of the month up for December even though it is more than halfway over. I just pulled songs out from my butt so don’t be sad if it doesn’t make all your wildest dreams come true.
Finally, HEAR YE HEAR YE! Once again, post request will be taken as will playlist of the month suggestions. I’m not kidding, even MENTION a Taylor Swift song and I will Poltergeist my way through your computer screen and eat your soul. That is all for now!
Merry Days- Sarah, HG

LIAR LIAR

As you might have discovered, I am a big fat liar and my pants are DEF on fire right now. I told you, No, I PROMISED you that I wouldn’t disappear again and look what I went and did! I went and had a baby and decided that she need more attention than you dear internet readers! The audacity of me! I can’t apologize enough. So I’m just going to skip ahead to the goods… or um… the business.
I can’t say that I really have any ideas for a post today. It’s been a while since I’ve bullshitted my way through something *cough* but I guess I can try to muster up something that will kill a few braincells without the use of drugs or liquor. (Although wouldn’t that be easier?)
I guess I could sit here and relive the beautiful, intricate details of my child being born, but we all know that’s what my OTHER blog http://www.mylittlewildthing.wordpress.com is for! (see that? free advertisement via myself. TOTAL BOG moment!)
Despite stepping into the roll of incredibly-hot-mom, I haven’t let myself forget the goals of BOG. Here is where we celebrate expression and slap you around a bit with our sharp wit and lather on a thick, vaseline-like layer of sarcasm. Someday, perhaps when my child can read I will regret some of the things I’ve written here, but for now I’m too young to feel shame and have yet to develop the social skills known as “decorum” and “propriety”, whatever the hell those mean.
My little family is in the process of looking for a new apartment, and let me say nothing gets you more into the Christmas spirit like looking for a place to live. I highly recommend it. While searching for said “home” I have this strange notion that I NEED a rug. I don’t think I’ve ever felt a nagging need for any household item, especially not a big piece of fabric you walk all over. But there it is, everyday as i troll craigslist for that perfect pad, I am vex at the idea of not getting the right rug. I’d like to hear what someone from a third world country has to say about the matter.
– Sarah, Head Genius.

Adulthood

Here I sit on my bed with no sheets, to my despair Lana Del Rey starts playing on my iTunes. The mood is ruined. I’ll start again in a couple of hours when my shuffle isn’t playing the worst songs ever made.
Alright, here i sit on my bed with no sheets. It would have sheets if i wasnt currently doing my laundry. And by “doing my laundry”, i mean sitting here on my laptop staring at the bedsheets on the floor, thinking about what it might be like to just get up and throw those sheets in the vacant washing machine. From this thought stems a pile of life’s most intimidating questions. Why do i procrastinate so? I have a mile long to-do list and barely have laundry crossed off-of that list, what’s wrong with my priorities? How can i finish entire television show seasons in one night, yet i still watch those shows on a bed with no sheets?
The answer might lie in the simple fact that here i am, staring at dirty bedsheets, writing a blog about my sheets being dirty. Questioning my adulthood is exhausting and hunger-inducing, i’m gonna go make some cupcakes i found on Pinterest.
-Evil Genius, Cassie

And Like The Flash I’m Back..

wow am I a terrible blogger or what? I tried to get this site up on my iPhone so that I would be more inclined to post as I am always attracted to those little things that can make me lazier…. I take that back. I can honestly tell you that you haven’t missed much in my absence; an anniversary here, a new dog there, yadda yadda yadda. I personally am over all that jazz so writing about it would be a big bore for me and you, although lets be clear on this, Im not writing it for me. not for you.

I want you all to be aware that I will be starting up a new blog that is geared towards young wives, like myself. In order to maintain the purity, or lack there-of, of the BOG site, it will be a separate blog all together but I will probably post links JUST IN CASE. and just for all you special BOG readers, I will soon (oh so very soon!) put up some extensive junkie junk to make up for the slack on the monthly Genius Playlist. I will pre-warn you that I have stumbled upon some wild gems these past months so i recommend that you find some duct tape and prep your socks cause those suckers will be blown away!

that is all for now. I promise promise promise you haven’t heard the last from me. keep checking in, whether it be on the site or my twitter for a new surprise! coming soon to an internet highway near you.

-Sarah, HG

I Am Legend.

I live roughly 2 hours away from Los Angeles, as the Nazgul flies.. (don’t worry, I slapped myself for that remark)
It was strange going up there for the first time, visiting the iconic Hollywood strip. I gotta be honest with you, I was extremely shocked that I wasn’t instantly scouted out and put into the newest blockbuster hit with Brad Pitt and Meryl Streep. Anyways, despite my disappointment in L.A’s talent scouts, I’d say we had a pretty fantastic trip. And don’t you worry your pretty little heads, I DID sing the fresh prince of bel air’s theme song the ENTIRE TIME we drove through the neighborhoods, which was NOT on a tour to stalk and impose upon the lives of the rich and the famous.

-Sarah HG

THE MOON: You Can Read This, But You Might Want To Wait For Cassie’s.

While at the beach today Jojo has a run in with a local crazy man that we’ve often seen tying new treasures to his fully-loaded down chevy. As Joj sprinted to the port-a-potty, Mr. Chuck came running after him. “HEY!” Chuck cried. Joj spun around as Chuck proceeded, “I saw You running to the bathroom and it reminded me of a joke!” I bet you are wondering what this has to do with anything, right? Mostly, nothing. But more importantly, it has to do with why the moon was so damn huge and beautiful last night! Little did Jojo know, or anyone else for that matter, Chuck is a masterful genius of wit, tongue twisters and (yep, You guessed it!) Astronomy. He foretold of the giant moon that would grace our milky skies last evening. You know why the moon was so big last night? BECAUSE CHUCK SAID SO!

– SARAH                     

And Now A Tongue Twister From Our Chuck: Lemon Laminent on Aluminum Linoleum.